A Million Buses, Bikes and People

We had just the right amount of time to catch our connecting flight after a brief stop at Newark's United Club. It was packed and I was so comfortable that I Iost track of time. If it wasn't for Rosemarie's constant check of the time, we would have been a tad late for boarding. As it was, our connecting gate was clear on the other side of the terminal.

There is nothing like business class - well, except maybe First class, but either way, we had the best flight across the Atlantic. Looking at the amount of room she had, my mother was as happy as a lttle kid on Christmas Day. She settled in and was laughing hysterically as I showed her the controls of the seat and moved her to the flat bed position. I kept messing with her and raising the foot rest up and down until I acquiesced and played nice. 

Amazed at how fast and personal the service was in business, my mom read through the dinner menu and I showed her all of the selections for the in-flight entertainment. And, what did she watch? Why, Frozen of course, since she's probably the only person who hasn't seen it. 

The most surprising aspect of the flight? She slept! She put the bed down, curled up with the blanket and as soon as the movie and dinner was over, my mother was asleep for a good four and a half hours. I would have snapped a picure to document the event, but I feared the flash would wake up the entire cabin.

Before that, prior to take off, the two late arrivals to our class of service were a young British couple, who really should have gotten a room or at least gone and been a part of the mile high club. Kissing, giggling, holding hands for what seemed an eternity, my mother, "was afraid he was going to attack her in the middle of the night." I couldn't help but agree.

Besides a few bumps, the flight couldn't have been more perfect and our flight attendant was one of the nicest I have ever had. She even gave us a whole bottle of champagne when we landed. Now, that could have been because she felt bad for us and thought my mom was a little strange when we asked if we flew through rain.

"I heard so much pelting on the plane in the middle of the night," Rosemarie told us.

"Oh, no, we are too far up," the lovely attendant explained. "There's no rain above the clouds at 34,000 feet."

My mom chalked it up to her first in-flight dream and went back to eating her snack. 

"All we've done is eat, drink, sleep and eat again on this flight."

I had to agree. From the second we sat down to minutes before we landed. The food and beverage service seemed never ending. And, as we descended, the two of us were slightly disappointed that our perfect flight was coming to end.

"Can we fly this way every time?" she asked.

Can we, sure - will we, is another story.

De-planing, she took a long look at the sea of travelers behind us.

"Forgot there was a plane full of people back there, didn't you?" I asked.

And, with that, we were off to clear border control. As we walked the endless bowels of Heathrow, I explained how because of the hike we were on just to get to passport check, this was one airport I constantly avoid for connections in Europe. 

She didn't ask "are we there yet," but when we did get there, the sickening sweet couple was right behind us. Thankfully, they moved to the UK checkpoint, because obviously, from being so in love they could not tell that they were British citizens and in the wrong queue.

And the fun just kept coming for Rosemarie. She's never had a driver waiting for her and she pointed out ours to me as if I could not see my brightly displayed name on his iPad as we exited the nothing to declare path.

"This really is an amazing way to travel," she told me as she adjusted to having the driver on the other side of the car. 

And adjusting was just what we had plenty of time to do as it took us two hours in morning traffic to get from the airport through London and onto our hotel in Marble Arch. Two. Hours. There was plenty to see, including the woman walking by the park in a dress too short and thighs too big to be thusly attired.

Since our room wasn't ready we headed out for more food and my first real English tea. It was at a cute little place around the corner from our hotel called The Grazing Goat. The choice was made even more perfect as we watched two gorgeous queens checking out the view of our waiter's extremely tight pants. Queens, and not the royal ones, the second we get to London  - this is going to be a great trip.

The bustling city was alive at every turn.

"I've never seen so many buses," she shouted over the roar of the traffic as we walked through Oxford Circus, her arm protectivly craddled in mine. I had to agree, for although I have been to London several times, I never really noticed the sheer volume of famous red transport that was on the roads. And, watching them turn the sharp corners while we either 'looked left' or 'looked right,' I wondered how many people they've clipped on the sidewalk.

As the time wore on, we were getting tired so I decided to take us back to the hotel to hopefully get our room.

"I don't think we've seen one ugly person," I joked on the walk home.

"Everyone is so dapper looking," she agreed. 

It's a little past two now and she's fast asleep on her bed as I watch Wimbledon without a clue as to who's playing but happy that I'm watching the match as it happens. We'll meet an old friend of mine for a drink and then find a place for dinner. It's not going to get dark until way after 10 pm, so I'm excited for what comes next.

Welcome to Newark Liberty

After literally being up in the air for less than 50 minutes, we have arrived at Newark. My favorite part of the quickest flight ever? As I was looking for the power outlet between our seats, my mother says, 

"Oh, there's a red tab here, is this it? Should I pull it?"

Ah...that's the life vest!

Coming in, we had a great view of the Empire State Building as well as the new Freedom Tower.

"New York, New Jersey, that's right," she said as if the two states proximity was breaking news. 

And just like that, we were on the ground  - much to her dismay. 

"I was just starting to enjoy myself and now we're going down."

"Would you like us to stay up here longer, then?"

The look on her face is one I'm sure I will see again in the next 9 days.

Now we are in the United lounge, which is not nearly as nice as Boston's. We just chatted with a family who was doing a big trip to Germany, but I got the feeling they weren't too thrilled to hear my advice on where to go and eat. They've now joined their brood of children, so we have the area to ourselves. Around the bar, the crowd of travelers watching the World Cup match between the U.S. and Belgium is insane. I will either have to congratuate my friend Serge on Sunday or he will have to buy me a drink in celebration of us.

Just now, my mom actually wandered around the lounge by herself. She's picked up more cheese and crackers and is now trying to force me to have some chocolate chip cookies. She was however, THIS close to taking the White Russian I offered to buy her. It's a long flight ahead - I may still try and get her drunk enough to fall asleep. 

You did good, Jimmy

Well, we have arrived at Boston's Logan International Airport, but before we did, we took a litte tour down memory lane and drove by my old elementary schools. The Franklin, where I spent kindergarten to fourth and then the Swan where the horror started before the real terror of the Roberts Junior High took full force of my life. Both schools are now incredible looking condos and I wondered how much it cost to live there now. I can't even begin to count the number of days I ran home from school to avoid being beaten up and as we sat in the car outside the Swan, I saw the spot where I pushed the bully, Frank into the bushes because I had had enough taunting. He never bothered me again.

And as we left Medford, my mother asked if I had bid my brother farewell.  I told I was teasing him and telling him I let his cat out to roam the streets of the neighborhood.

"Oh, can't you just be nice and say good-bye?"

Hello - have you met me?

Then she was picking up my iPhone and texting my brother, her fingers stumbling over the keyboard, but it thankfully, kept her occupied away from the road. 

"I think I want one of these," she said as she sent the mangled text.

He, in some crazy universe, thought her words were mine, so I had to quickly correct him of his error.

After returning the rental car, we made it to the United First Class check-in and in less than five minutes we were there security.

"I'm a senior citizen," Rosemarie said proudly when the lackadasical TSA worker wanted her to take her shoes off. Then she was through the scanner, where I told her to just wait for me at the benches DIRECTY across from the belt. And what did you think she did? 

As we walked to the United Red Carpet lounge, I ran ahead just to see what she would do when left behind - and then I made her go into the elevator first and told her I was going to close the doors.

We are now settled into the ultra plush, brand new United Club with a view of the runways. She's munching on the free cheese, crackers, cookies and carrots and I may just have a pre-flight cocktail.

In the elevator, she leaned over and gave me a big hug in the elevator up and said,

"Ooo, you did good, Jimmy."

And, then I thought - yes. Yes, I did.

Parenting 101

This is it - the night before our trip to London, and surprisingly, my mother has done a great job of getting ready. Just a few last minute things in our carry on and we're ready to go. To wish us bon voyage, we had another round of relative visits. We met my cousins Keri and Jay and their children  - yes - that's right, plural - at my all-time favorite kitschy restaurant - The Kowloon. Now growing up in Medford, the mammoth Chinese restaurant was always one of my go-to places and situated on the busy RT 1 in Saugus, the north shore's answer to great Asian cuisine has always provided a great meal and incredible prices. And where else could you get a flaming Pu Pu Platter over flowing with appetizers that could feed a small army?

With its volcanic mosaics, dragon covered walls and its makeshift ship in the middle of the floor, the restaurant has something for everyone. Watching my cousins, who've never been insides its doors of deliciousness marvel at the decor, food and prices was well worth the planning. Often times, being so far away, I forget what an amazing brood of relatives I have and being away for over twenty years, to see their kids, not only know who I am, but also get so excited to see me really warms an old bitter heart.

It was a great afternoon made even more decadent by getting the kids ice cream at another old staple of my childhood - Putnam Pantry. The little candy shoppe/home made ice cream parlor made to look like an old New English hut has stood for longer than I can remember. Over the course of my high school years, it added a lot of pounds to my already "husky" frame.

Today, I gave a ride to my cousin's youngest son and trying to be the cool "uncle," I let him ride in the front seat of my car.

"You can ride in the front seat?"

"YES!" Graham exclaimed and off we went up the highway. Pulling into the parking lot, his mother leaned out her window and scolded,"Obviously, Uncle Jim doesn't know the first thing about parenting!"

Now, mind you, I did think it was a little strange when I looked over and thought the front  seat was a bit low for Graham, but I did ask if a car seat was required. Doesn't that count?

All this activity was great for Rosemarie as it kept her mind occupied and away from the task at hand - finishing up the last of the packing. We have plenty of time though, we don't have to leave for Logan until noon. I want to have plenty of time to return the car and enjoy all the perks of flying her first class.

At least the flight attendant won't scold me for putting her in that seat. Now, if I do say so myself. That's great parenting.

What ever happened to the Pewter Pot?

There's one full day left before Rosemarie and I take off for London, and now, as I watch her wondering around the living room looking at her suitcase and the clothes stacked nearby, I'm waiting for her to give up for the night and settle into her chair. There'll be plenty of time tomorrow to put everything in order and, in the meantime, today was a fantastic day with old friends and relatives. 

Before the day began, though, I was on the hunt for a corn muffin. A hunt for a corn muffin, you ask? Well, when I was a kid, my mom would take me to the Pewter Pot in Medford Square and in that kitschy restaurant, with the waitresses dressed as colonial serving wenches, we would have a breakfast that always included a grilled corn muffin slathered with butter. It's one of those memories that is forever burned into my mind, along with the little lace hat that the servers were made to wear. I could never see their shoes because their Old English dresses went right to the floor.

These days,  every time I go for breakfast, I always, although I know that no place in Los Angeles ever has one, ask for a grilled corn muffin. Do I want a banana nut, bran raisin, lemon poppyseed or cinnamon bun? No, I tell them, I just want a simple corn muffin, but that seems to be an impossible ask in the entire city of Angels. But today, in the super Stop 'n Shop, there they were  - a whole case of muffins and on the top rack - the object of my hunger. I scooped them up, looked for little Alfred lost in the aisles of the store, and headed back to grill my childhood memory. My dad wanted to wait in the car, but in the heat of the day, all I could picture was the headline, "Son leaves father in locked car," and I made him come into the store, where he promptly took off for parts unknown. 

When we got home, alas, my mother was not wearing a lace head piece. But we grilled the muffin together just the same.

After brunch and a round of bowling, where she again beat me, but by only two pins, she's now safely settled into her chair. Tomorrow, it's a trip to my all-time favorite mega Chinese restuarant for lunch and  then I'll have to take a look at what she's packing and eliminate a third of it. 

The best part of the day? When my cousin Linda said that at least where we are going this time, the language is English, so if Rosemarie gets lost on the train without me she can find her way back to the hotel. And, if you think, that even for a second, despite the non-language barrier, that my mother would let that happen, I've got an old New England  restaurant chain I want to sell you.

The Prodigal Son Returns

After a bit of a restless sleep last night, I was up and out before the break of dawn this morning. I always find it hard to get a night's rest before a long trip and last night was no different. My car pick up was fifteen minutes early, which always scores points with me. I love the mornings, and if you've never seen Los Angeles before the break of dawn, you're really missing a unique sight. Getting anywhere is a breeze and this morning, there wasn't a sign of any poor drunken bastard on his way home from his still Friday night on the town.

The airport, however, was packed. After, literally bumping into Jermaine Jackson and his handler in terminal 7, I unsuccessfully waited for my second position on the upgrade list to change. Then, with what must have been the oldest flight attendants ever to work a United cross country flight, I tried not to think how they could possibly help me should an emergency happen, and settled into my window seat. I prefer the aisle but in order to board in group two, I had to endure one of my least favorite seats.

And then, right on time, we were on the ground in Boston. Each time I come back, I'm amazed at how much the city has changed. First, the new United terminal at Logan is sleek, clean and sparkling bright. I almost thought I was at the wrong airport since the aroma of Dunkin' Donuts did not greet me. Trust me, though, I will get one before I leave.

In no time at all, I was on a familiar road back to the city where I grew up. Condos have replaced familiar sights along the way home, which made me nostalgic for days past, but fear not Kappy's Liquors still stands watch over Wellington Circle.

Then, I was maneuvering up the dangerously steep front steps of my parents' house. I shook hands with the little man called Alfred and then gave Rosemarie a big hug.

"You've grown," she exclaimed.

"No, you've shrunk," I answered."I'm too old to be still gaining inches."

She's got everything all lined up to pack in the living room, and with my head bursting from no nourishment save an $8.99 snack box, we went to dinner at the still standing Bertucci's. Imagine my shock when my brother pulled out his wallet and treated us all to dinner!

"I need to come home more often," I said. "Or at least, you could have warned me and I would have ordered a cocktail and dessert!"

Now, I'm comfortably settled into my old spot in the den and for reasons I know all too well - I feel like a teenager all over again. That's enough to make one forget the real world back home, isn't it?

Eastward Ho

So, another installment of travels with my mother is about to begin and I couldn't be more excited. I've spent the last week in Las Vegas at the network's annual meeting of its affiliates. For six days, I've had to sparkle, smile and, pun intended - network with not only NBC's stations, but hundreds of television professionals. There's nothing I enjoy better than being on stage and when I took to the spotlight on Tuesday, I made the audience of 200 plus laugh along with me while providing them with key points for them to take back to their stations. But Vegas is a tough town for longer than a drunken weekend and by the time my plane touched down last night, I was wiped out - in a much needed space for a vacation.

I've got everything packed and even though we don't leave Boston until Tuesday, you know Rosemarie has her bags ready to go. Last week, she asked my cousin where we were stopping prior to the United Kingdom and she was not happy with our layover in Newark.

"Tell her to hush or I'll leave her in New Jersey," I texted back. I purposely made the connection so we have time to relax in the International Red Carpet Lounge prior to the trip across the pond. The last two times we've gone to Europe, our connections have been under an hour, and although it's plenty of time, I wanted this trip to be relaxing and comfortable. It's Rosemarie's first time in First Class and I want both of us to savor every warm walnut and ice cream sundae. And if I'm lucky, she'll play with the controls of her lie flat bed and actually fall asleep.

We've got a few days in Boston to visit with family and then the adventure begins. Fasten your seat belts - and although I can't afford First class for all of you to join, stay tuned and read all about it.